Vacate or Staycate

In the modern tradition of ugly word smashing (see also: vlog, Brangelina), a nasty little neologism has woven itself into our economically depressed 2008 lives: staycation. A staycation is when you take some time off of work, but you don’t actually go anywhere, since airline rates and gas prices are through the roof, and you probably didn’t get that big bonus this year, and for all you know, you may not even have a job in a few months. Who can spare the money these days on an extravagant vacation?

Many popular news outlets are offering some helpful suggestions for possible staycation activities–though not all translate to a life in New York City:

1. Take a leisurely bike ride through your home town!

Unless you’ve got the bravado of one of those Chinese food delivery guys, I wouldn’t call a bike ride through Manhattan “leisurely.”

2. Forget about your day to day responsibilities, like making the bed, doing chores, etc.
Unless your living room is 8′x9′, in which case you may trap yourself in a pile of laundry, dirty dishes, and/or empty beer cans. It may be weeks before concerned friends or coworkers come to dig you out.

3. See a movie!

Just not Step Brothers.

4. Go to the beach, lake, or any body of water near where you live.

If you go to this body of water (which is actually very fun), for the love of GOD, do not go swimming.

5. Have a cookout in your backyard!

Alternatively, you could toast up some marshmallows! On your fire escape! …Over a cigarette lighter!

6. Take plenty of pictures–after all, you’re on vacation!

“This is us on the couch…here we are, reading…another one at the kitchen table…here we’re back on the couch…”

A staycation can work wonders for your workplace moral. Because after two weeks of self-imposed exile, you might actually be looking forward to going back to work.