Beauty fades, but stupid is forever

[First, I want to get this out of the way: I’m pissed that I and the rest of the internets are even talking about The Miss American Pageant and even that this archaic, sexist tradition hasn’t yet faded into obscurity—but that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms.]
Carrie Prejean’s (Miss California) isn’t a “dumb bitch” because [...]

Comparing Apples and Morons

Call me a latte drinking, bra burning liberal, but I have a casual interest in preserving the environment. That is, I recycle, conserve, and buy organic as much as my lazy, selfish tendencies allow. But when I see these stunts that companies pull to look environmentally friendly (like buying carbon offsets) with the sole [...]

Yeah…What Keith Olbermann Said

The day after the presidential election, America woke up with a hangover: the realization that, despite taking a giant step forward in living up to the founding ideals of this nation by electing our first African-American president, California took a step back. Prop 8 passed with a not-so-narrow margin, banning gay marriage in one of [...]

Unleashing my Hatred for Laguna Beach

You know Heidi, you’re right. I don’t care that you’re voting for John McCain. And it’s not because I’ve never seen a full episode of Laguna Beach or The Hills. It’s because just by reading the rag mags and gossip websites, I can tell you’re an airhead and do not deserve the second rate fame [...]

Kitchen appliances go on strike, tenants get fat, go broke

Mark Bittman read my mind–his story on revisiting the microwave came just in time. You see, I’ve been without a working oven and stove (and a clothes dryer, but thats another post entirely) for almost a month now, and I was itching to getting cooking again, not to mention feeling a little gross from the overdose of [...]

Deep Thoughts in Downward-Facing (Naughty) Dog

“Now let the tension out through your mouth: Haaaaaaaaa…” my yoga teacher cooed.
It’s a little strange for me to let loose and groan like that in a room full of strangers–especially when I’m in one of those vulnerable, compromising poses like downward-facing dog, with my head 2 inches from the ground and my bum [...]

Thanksgiving Cabin Fever

Just as reliable as the turkey coma and the pumpkin pie overload on Thanksgiving is getting mind numbingly stir-crazy. My body is confused–it ate dinner at 2pm and had a nice long nap, but now it’s 5 hours after the biggest meal of the day and I’m…hungry again? I’m not even sure. Am I tired? [...]

‘Tis the season.

Well, it’s official. Today I got my Holiday Victoria’s Secret Catalogue. Actually, someone else did, but as far as I know he/she hasn’t lived here for a while. Alexandra Whatserface was all decked out in her sparkley (PC, non-denominational) bra and panties set and naughty fur trimmed hood thingie. For a minute, I felt a surge or [...]

An Open Letter

Dear Girl-at-My-Gym-Who-Coughs-Every-15-Seconds-on-the-Ellipical-Trainer,
Last night, I got stuck next to you again. I should really get into the habit of picking a machine WITHOUT my earphones in so that I can detect you BEFORE I’ve already started my workout. But once again, I was subject to your annoying little girl-cough that you sqeak out like clockwork several [...]